Look at me, not at me!

"The birth of pleasure in itself is simple, but staying with pleasure means staying open, and this is where history tends to kick in. Volumes of psychology have been written about the ways we defend ourselves against love and loss, often giving up what we most wanted. [...] But when something impedes the process of repair, the core sense of self [palavras de Damásio] recedes from relationship and begins to build a wall of protection."

[...]

"It is a women's nightmare to discover that although she feels loved she doesn't fit the image: her breasts are too large, too small, some part of her is not right. And most women have a ready script for blaming themselves for why they are left."

Carol Gilligan, The Birth of Pleasure