"This psychological seclusion of girls from the public world. The dissociation of girls 'voices from girls' experiences in adolescence, so that girls are not saying what they know and eventually not knowing it as well, is a prefiguring of many women's sense of having the rug of experience pulled out from under them, or of coming to experience their feelings and thoughts not as real but as fabrication. [...] [Jean Baker] Miller and I have been struck by the fact that although we have approached the study of women and girls from different ways, we have arrived at much the same insight into the relationship between women's psychology and the prevailing social order. A new psychological theory in which girls and women are seen and heard is an inevitable challenge to a patriarchal order that can remain in place only through the continuing eclipse of women's experience. Bringing the experiences of women and girls to full light, although in one sense perfectly straightforward, becomes a radical endeavor. Staying in connection, then, with women and girls — in teaching, in research, in therapy, in friendship, in motherhood, in the course of daily living — is potentially revolutionary."
Carol Gilligan, In a Different Voice
To be a Girl
da não-prática do diálogo
'Neutralise your feelings', algo mesmo muito difícil para mesmo muita gente. Tenho constatado.
'Involve yourself by responding', também.
Há aqueles que se retiram de cena achando que estão a ser alvo de alguma conspiração ou insulto subliminar, sem se darem ao trabalho (porque aparentemente dá muito trabalho) de aprofundarem mais ou questionarem mais o interlocutor.
A prática do diálogo, pelo simples prazer do diálogo, é algo em vias de extinção. Fala-se muito e procura-se muito a concordância (dos 'like-minded' believers). Há muitos 'reforço positivo seekers'.
O que as pessoas esquecem é que se pode aprender imenso quando nos
predispomos a escutar aqueles que a priori afirmam coisas que nos
parecem absurdas ou descabidas.
Spock
Look at me, not at me!
"The birth of pleasure in itself is simple, but staying with pleasure means staying open, and this is where history tends to kick in. Volumes of psychology have been written about the ways we defend ourselves against love and loss, often giving up what we most wanted. [...] But when something impedes the process of repair, the core sense of self [palavras de Damásio] recedes from relationship and begins to build a wall of protection."
[...]
"It is a women's nightmare to discover that although she feels loved she
doesn't fit the image: her breasts are too large, too small, some part
of her is not right. And most women have a ready script for blaming
themselves for why they are left."
Carol Gilligan, The Birth of Pleasure
